The Value of Community

We talk a lot about community at Womencare- we honor it, celebrate it, and use it to support ourselves and our clients.  We recently posted a blog about the power of groups... in all the thought and discussion, I became aware of a self-truth I’d never before acknowledged. As much as in my head I celebrate the power of groups, it isn’t a natural inclination. I had to truly learn the full value of community, by being embraced within a community I’d never intended to join.

Several years ago, when my son was born, and it became clear that he had special needs, my impulse was to bunker down within myself and my family until I figured it out and figured out how to name it to the world. Fortunately, other members of my family had a different wisdom they tapped, and called in the troops.  I resented the intrusion at the time, but the food and love the troops brought helped immensely.  And later I realized that the people who responded or showed up registered somewhere on my heart as family, regardless of where they had fit earlier.

Sometimes we need community in ways we could never have anticipated- for support, for information, for validation. After fighting my own discomfort, I got in my car one day and headed to a meeting of other families with kids with special needs.  I needed to- I just didn’t have access to the kind of wisdom I truly value above all others and so desperately needed- the wisdom of shared experience. Over time, I found my way to greater comfort and competence as the kind of mother I’d never imagined becoming, through sharing with and the active support of others. For a year, I drove over an hour each way to connect with people in similar circumstances. Just so we’re clear… I get bored driving long distances, but the train didn’t reach my destination, and I had come to realize how much I needed this support.

When presenting, I smile to find myself passionately advocating the importance of community and the power of groups- and I do so from the stance of someone who, rather reluctantly, was pushed into a place of needing it, had to learn it over time... and found more benefit than she’d ever imagined possible.  

-Ellen Lonnquist, MS, LMFT

Teen Therapy Groups

Despite greater public awareness of gender inequality, studies on teen girls have repeatedly shown that girls lose self-esteem and self-confidence between the ages of thirteen and eighteen.  Girls lose themselves as they try to become what the dominant culture defines.  Girls are neurologically and physiologically built to “tend and befriend,” to grow and thrive by harnessing the emotional and social benefits of close relationships.

Research has been repeatedly shown that girls’ developmental strivings for autonomy are coupled with a strong desire to maintain important relationships, and further the emotional intimacy within these relationships.

At Womencare, our teen therapy groups are designed not only to meet the ordinary challenges young women face, but also the traumatic challenges they must work to overcome.  Within these groups, the growth of each girl’s autonomous self, which strives for competency and individuality, can be encouraged and celebrated.  Within our groups, the growth of each girl’s relational self, which desires connection and collaboration with others, can be developed and nurtured.  When provided with a safe place to give voice to goals, dreams, feelings and desires that may be in sync with or run  counter to the dominant culture, girls are afforded the opportunity to find and honor their true selves. 

   

We invite you to visit our website, www.womencarecounseling.com, to check out our two teen therapy groups, A.R.T. Adolescent Girls Reclaiming Themselves and Stronger Together, which are specifically created to meet the needs of young women as they grow through their adolescent years.

-Beth Holzhauer, LCSW and Nicole Howell, MSW, LCSW