Barack Obama on Trayvon Martin Verdict

Image from NPR's "Trayvon Martin Could Have Been Me 35 Years Ago."

The community at Womencare was moved by President Obama’s remarks on the Trayvon Martin verdict.

With courage he spoke to us as a leader of a nation, as a peace-keeper in our communities, as a compassionate witness, and as a black man. 

In our work and in our lives, we have witnessed and felt the realities of discrimination, difference, injustice, hatred and fear. 

As Obama illustrated, context plays a foundational role in helping individuals understand themselves and each other, and in healing the wounds within ourselves and in our communities.

It takes time.  There has been progress.  And, we are not done. 

We support Obama in speaking the truth, building empathy, bridging differences, encouraging curiosity, and moving our process forward together.

To watch video footage of President Obama's remarks, see below.

Book Review: Rape Is Rape

Below is a book review by Judith Ierulli, LCSW of the book "Rape Is Rape: How Denial, Distortion and Victim Blaming Are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis" by Jody Raphael, JD and published by Lawrence Hill Books in 2013. The book review was initially published here. 

In the powerful new book, Rape Is Rape: How Denial, Distortion and Victim Blaming Are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis, Jody Raphael takes a balanced but unflinching look at the media, the public, rape deniers, and how they support the behavior of rapist, impact victims, and judicial outcomes. She also makes room for the voice of the survivor as they try to make meaning of the unthinkable. Their changed lives after the assaults include: giving voice to their confusion and shame, the impact of others as they disclose the rape, reactions from friends, family, and the hospital, rape evidence collection, the media, police intervention (if they are able to have charges filed), and the court system.

The understanding of rape in our society is colored by how we understand sexual violence, its prevalence, and who rapes. Is it rape if you were drunk or high, if you were asleep, if you didn’t fight hard enough to leave bruises or physical evidence of trauma? Is it rape if you went willing into a room, car, or a party dressed in a way that can be deemed sexually provocative? In 80% of reported rape cases the victim knows the perpetrator. Raphael’s book examines the arguments of what is “real” rape versus what is bad sex or alcohol-fueled miscommunication. The answer should be that rape is rape.

“If you think about rape, it is the taking away of an ability to express love. It shatters the way you connect to everyone. It involves where your core intimacy lies and your love, and when that is involved, it shatters the way you connect to every human being,” said one of the rape survivors in the book on the way the experience affected her.

The latest study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds that 12.3% of American women over 18—more than 14 million women—state that they have been forcibly penetrated within their lifetime. There have been 620,000 women raped within the last twelve months. This number does not include men and children under the age of 18, but think of what the number would be if it did. This book looks at how entrenched beliefs from both sides of the argument impact how we as a society deal with far-reaching effects of sexual violence. The collusion to minimize acquaintance rape from feminist and conservatives voices distorts the cultural understanding of what is rape. Is it really a price of women’s sexual freedom or a result of women’s promiscuity?

In her book Raphael explores rape deniers perpetuating the dangerous indifference that can deeply affect institutions: police, church, and educators. Looking closely at the rape statistics collected, examining their methodology and distortions of statistics, she reveals how by using incorrect or incomplete data, supporters of survivors of sexual violence can do damage to the very cause they are trying to support. Data has been misconstrued and twisted by those who want to minimize or flat-out reject the findings, using outdated information or studies that are just plain wrong.

Raphael effectively give us current context by looking at high-profile examples of rape cases to understand how strong and pervasive the distortions are—from Julian Assange, Todd Akin, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Kobe Bryant, and the armed forces. What gets lost in the debate is that rape is not about sex; it is about power, violence, control, and the utter humiliation of the victim.

In her book, Raphael states, “Rape is probably the only offense in which a suspect can successfully defend himself by claiming that the victim consented to the crime, which causes the police to intensely scrutinize the believability of the injured party’s description of events.” 

She ends her well-written book with hope and a guide to steps that we as a community and country can do create a world without rape denial. This is a powerful, moving, extremely well-researched work that brings a focused light to a complex issue. She ends with, “There is only truth. And we all must tell the truth. Denying rape makes society unsafe for women and allows predators to go free. Rape is rape.”

Judith Ierulli, LCSW

Trauma Consultation Group Information and FAQ

We are now taking applications for the Fall Trauma Consultation Program (more information here).

Those of us who work with trauma survivors face unique challenges. If we are to sustain ourselves in this work, it is imperative that we participate in a community that adequately supports us. These once a month consultation groups focus on the therapeutic complexities of working with trauma survivors by paying special attention to the impact on the clinicians. 

• What is it? The Trauma Consultation Group is a unique, nationally recognized program in the field of Traumatic Stress. In our meetings, we focus on the impact of trauma consultations on the clinicians. Our program involves Didactic Presentations, Group Process, Experiential Learning, Case Consultation, and Peer Support

• Who should participate? We welcome clinicians who work with neglected and abused children, victims of domestic violence, victims of sexual assault, acute and chronic trauma survivors, and clients with PTSD. This year, including our advanced groups, we had 55 students who worked in different settings with traumatized populations.  *This program is open to professionals in health-related fields, and is not suitable for the general public.*

• When does it meet? At Womencare Counseling, the Trauma Consultation Group begins in the Fall and meets on Fridays once a month from September to June. 

• Where does it meet? We meet at Womencare Counseling Center, which is located at 1740 Ridge Avenue, in Evanston, Illinois. See our brochure for information on parking.

• Are Continuing Education Credits available? Up to 24 CEUs are available per year. Womencare Counseling Center is approved to offer continuing education credits for Social Workers, Professionals Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation.

How to Register:
Complete the application found at www.womencarecounseling.com and submit it with a $25 application fee to: Womencare Counseling Center, 1740 Ridge Avenue, Suite 201, Evanston, IL 60201, attn: TCG.

If you would like more information, please see our brochure or reach out to Laurie Kahn (847-475-7003, x22).

ALSO’s 18th Annual Walk for Peace

This past Saturday, June 8^th for the 18^th consecutive year, hundreds of people from across Chicago joined with the Alliance of Local Service Organizations (ALSO) to Walk for Peace. The theme of this year’s Walk was "Partners Against Violence in Our Streets, Homes and Schools: Men and Women Working Together," and called for allies, partnerships and power sharing to address violence in all its forms.

This event provided a space to not only give voice to some of the experiences of violence taking place in Chicago but also allowed for opportunities to celebrate good works and continued efforts around safety and peace.  

              

Dominant media and culture lends itself to the notion of separateness between people, groups, and communities. It is up to us to walk away from this notion. Respectfully acknowledging our commonalities and differences as human beings along with exploring the root causes of violence through a lens of justice, will assist us on this journey. Demonstrating safety in the spaces of violence, partnerships in the wake of separateness, and power sharing in places of oppression will help us all walk towards peace.

Want to learn more about ALSO?: The mission of ALSO (www.also-chicago.org) is to end violence in the homes and streets of communities nationwide. Incorporated in 1998, ALSO was created to coordinate services for youth and families in the Logan Square community on Chicago’s Northwest Side. Becoming aware of the devastating impact of community violence on those families ALSO began to take action by implementing prevention programs to end street violence. In 2007, ALSO expanded its violence prevention and intervention efforts to include intimate partner violence. By working to end violence more broadly, ALSO began to see connections between violence on the streets and violence in the home.

Today, ALSO works both locally and nationally to end violence. By expanding its reach, ALSO informs its national work from a local perspective and brings knowledge and best practices from around the country to our neighborhoods in Chicago.

• If you would like to find out more about ALSO, please go to www.also-chicago.org
• "Like” ALSO on Facebook or Follow ALSO on Twitter!
• Please click here if you would like to make a donation: http://www.also-chicago.org/donate

Words

Words

Wordlessness is a salient feature of trauma. Language falls short in the face of atrocities and betrayals. Writers search for metaphors and images to capture the terror and shock. So when I hear a few lucid words, or find them in myself, I want to write them down. Sometimes I write on a napkin, a post-it note, or in desperation I scribble on my hand hoping to transfer the words to paper before my next shower. 

Sunday, I was at The Naomi Ruth Cohen conference on trauma.  In the morning I sat on an uncomfortable chair waiting for the opening address, restlessly reviewing my notes for my afternoon presentation. The speaker was Rabbi Eleanor Smith, a rabbi who in mid-career left the pulpit to go to medical school and become a doctor.  A healer of body and spirit.  I was intrigued and then moved.  I madly scribbled down her words because they were worth remembering.

Here are two quotes from her speech I would like to share.

“Trauma is a thing that happens without permission or invitation, a darkness that slips through the curtain, an intruder that breaches the walls of the self that each of us holds sacred.”

“It (trauma) is the acute state of suffering without haven, the desolate lack of sanctuary in a time of great vulnerability.” 

Thank you Rabbi Eleanor Smith for words that capture the unspeakable.

Best

Laurie Kahn

Vulnerability As A Strength?

A recent Ted Talk by Brené Brown has a lot of the world watching - and thinking. As she speaks about vulnerability and shame, she speaks to the hearts of victims and survivors everywhere.

As the Joyful Heart Foundation puts it, Brown "tells us that vulnerability is not weakness, but is in fact strength."

It requires a great vulnerability for a person to put himself or herself out there - in an attempt to connect with others, to share theirstory, and to find room for healing and growth.

What do you think? Leave a comment here to share your thoughts. We would love to hear from you.

On Bearing Witness...